The D.C. City Council has voted 11-2 in favor of gay marriage, meaning that Congress will now vote to officially put the measure into law soon.

Story from AP (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

WASHINGTON – The City Council voted Tuesday to legalize gay marriage, giving supporters a victory after a string of recent defeats elsewhere and sending the issue to Congress, which has final say over laws in the nation’s capital.

Mayor Adrian Fenty has promised to sign the bill, which passed 11-2, and gay couples could begin marrying as early as March if Congress allows it to become law. Democratic congressional leaders have suggested they are reluctant to get involved, though gay marriage opponents say they will try to get it overturned either in Congress or at the polls.

Sweet.  I discussed this earlier regarding Michael Steele’s opposition to gay employee benefits, but I’ll say it again.  Democrats could lose a decent number of supporters by ignoring this issue.  Yes, gay voters are mostly Democratic and they could become angered by such indecisiveness, but they are currently allowing Republicans to shape the debate when addressing straight voters, which can be just as dangerous.  Whatever political party you support, you never want you’re party to waif inactively while the other side takes a collective and consistent approach to an issue.  [For proof, just look at Kerry v. Bush regarding the Iraq war in 2004, then Obama v. Mccain on the economy in 2008].

…

Tuesday’s vote in the district came after several months of discussion, including two marathon council hearings at which some 250 witnesses testified.

Opponents included the Archdiocese of Washington, which said it might have to stop providing adoptions and other services because the law would force it to extend benefits to same-sex couples.

“Today the District of Columbia joined a handful of states where legislatures or courts have redefined marriage to include persons of the same sex,” the archdiocese said in a statement after the vote.

I don’t understand this is upsetting.  Why aren’t words allowed to change?  “Marriage” isn’t the only word found in the Bible.  Words were meant to change over time.  South Park did a pretty good god-damned episode on the word “fag” and how its scope has no longer been including gay people.  Why the word “marriage” is not allowed to become more broad in it’s scope and include gay people is still unexplained, other than “It’s in the Bible.”

Believe it or not I try to limit the length of my rants on this site (ineffectively).  And yes, it should be obvious I support gay marriage rights at this point, so I’m biased.  But I cannot understand the opposition to gay marriage and never have.  I’ll just put the penguins back up.  That’ll make everyone happy again.

This week Sports Illustrated’s Ian Thomsen interviewed NBA Commissioner David Stern, among the topics discussed; will a women ever play in the National Basketball Association?

This look scares me...

I asked if we might see a woman playing NBA basketball within a decade.

“I think we might,” said Stern. “I don’t want to get into all kinds of arguments with players and coaches about the likelihood. But I really think it’s a good possibility.”

The media, and more specifically men have a habit of trying to legitimize womens professional sports by drawing comparisons in talent. The prevailing thought seems to be that the most dominant female athlete in her sport should be able to compete in the mens league.

It’s no secret that the NFL, NBA, MLB are the cash cows of sport. People pay the most to go to these games in person, and the most people watch these spots on TV. The exact opposite can be said of the WNBA, Softball, and Field Hockey. It’s not that these sports are necessarily bad, or that the women playing them are unathletic; but compared to males their physical prowess and stature is dwarfed. And when the primary candidate to watch sports is a male 18-48, they don’t want to watch something they feel is inferior in comparison.

One of a select few WNBA players who can dunk.

But if a women can be competitive against men, well, that changes the dynamic, and adds an aura of credibility around the womens game. That’s the prevailing logic, but is it really all that sound? Lets take a look at how women fair competing against men, starting with Billie Jean King.

1973 – Billie Jean King wins the “Battle of the Sexes” against Bobby Riggs

2000-2004 – Katie Hnida becomes the first female to score a point in division 1 college football. Later accused player on University of Colorado of rape while she was on the team.

2000-Current – Michelle Wie becomes the first woman to play in a PGA tour event in 2004 at the age of 14. She missed the cut. She played 5 more times in the next 3 years; missing the cut in all of them. Just recently she won her first LPGA tournament.

2005-Current – Danica Patrick becomes the first woman to win an F1 race in 2008 with a win over in Japan. Her career F1 record is 82 starts, 1 win, 3 poles, 16 top 5 finishes.

The prevailing theme throughout those 4 examples is that these women became the ‘first to’ do something in their sports. So the question must be asked; is it the novelty/marketing, or the actual athletic prowess that is the reason gifted women are competing in these events?

She will be racing in NASCAR next year.

Sadly, it looks to be the former. Having one moment, or triumph is not sustainable. You may see a woman play in the NBA, and score a basket. Headlines would go crazy, but the odds of her becoming a legitimate threat off the bench, or start putting up 4 points a game in limited time is very very unlikely. So would that be a battle cry for all women of similar skill to migrate to the NBA? Not so much.

If the NBA knows whats best, it should not allow a woman to play in the league. They setup the WNBA for a reason; to give women with talent in basketball a professional league, not a jumping off point to get to the NBA. We should as a society be able to appreciate the talents of both men and women in sports without the need to intertwine the two.

Before you watch the video, lets briefly discuss the elephant in the room.

Yes, this man is Japanese. Yes, the Japanese like anime, and it doesn’t surprise me at all that this sort of thing happened. There, I said it. I’m apparently a racist.

Is anyone else reading this (who isn’t from Japan) the slightest bit concerned? Are we headed to a world where it is acceptable to partake in the sacrament of marriage with a virtual being? And you thought the gay rights movement was crazy; just wait until this sort of thing catches on with lonely, depressed 45 year old men in America. There won’t be enough Pokemon characters to go around!

This is the legitimate definition of giving up. In honor of this achievement(? not really sure what else to call it), I’m revealing my 5 levels of “giving up” as it pertains to relationships.

Level 1 – Free Internet Porn

No one is going to fault you for basking in the warm glow of your monitor watching a dirty movie every now and then. But don’t substitute a good 30 minute jerk for a potential hook-up on a Friday night.

Level 2 – Paid Internet Porn

So you’ve passed the first threshold. You are now a member of Brazzers.com*. You have access to an entire vault of porn, more than you probably ever imagined. You begin to learn the pornstars by name, and even begin to develop a fondness for some of them (she sucks a great dick is a really nice person!) You get legitimately excited when you see new material from one of them.

Level 3 -Anime Porn

Sadly, after watching so much porn you could recognize stars by the birth marks on their inner thighs, but had trouble with their face, you realize you need a real change. You turn to porn which is animated. Now, things that are physically impossible for a human to do, sickos with a pen and drawing pad can make it happen. You like this, and repeat steps 1 & 2, only this time its with fictional people**. This is the final level you can change your life. Should you move to Level 4 its all over.

Level 4 – Interactive, Scripted, Fake Relationship with Fictional Character

You become infatuated to such a degree with one particular character, that you begin to actually think you are in a relationship with them. You ask them what to cook for dinner and what TV show you want to watch together. Since your ‘partner’ is never going to want to do something you don’t want to (remember… this is fake – you are making all the decisions, kind of like being in a real relationship in the 1700’s when women didn’t have opinions or feelings) you move to the final step.

Level 5 – A Real Marriage of a Fictional Character

See the video above. If you reach this level may god have mercy on your soul. Filling for divorce years later will not be worth it. You are so emotionally damaged at this point, no real woman will want to be within 50 feet of you. Sorry.

* I don’t intend on going to Level 2, but how about a free 1 month membership for the plug? Since I wouldn’t be paying for it, I see no faults in this plan. Make it happen! I’ll even do a favorable review of the site.

** Say what you want about porn stars, but they are at least real human beings. They may not have a soul after some of the things they can get talked into doing on camera for money, but they are apparently very real people.

An IBM employee in Canada lost her medical disability benefits for severe depression when photos were reviewed of her “having fun,” on Facebook.

Story from AP (Courtesy of Yahoo! News)

BROMONT, Quebec – A Canadian woman on long-term sick leave for depression says she lost her benefits because her insurance agent found photos of her on Facebook in which she appeared to be having fun.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported Saturday she was diagnosed with major depression and was receiving monthly sick-leave benefits from insurance giant Manulife.

But the payments dried up this fall and when Blanchard called Manulife, she says she was told she was available to work because of Facebook.

She said her insurance agent described several pictures Blanchard posted on Facebook, including ones showing her having a good time at a Chippendales bar show, at her birthday party and on a sun holiday.

I’ll tell ya, if there’s any quicker way to get rid of the blues than to go to Chippendale’s, somebody let me know.  Works every time.   There’s great food there, too.

Seriously, the buffet there is fantastic.

Blanchard told the CBC that on her doctor’s advice, she tried to have fun, including nights out at her local bar with friends and short getaways to sun destinations, as a way to forget her problems.

Manulife wouldn’t comment on Blanchard’s case, but did say they would not deny or terminate a claim solely based on information published on Web sites such as Facebook.

This lady isn’t the first to be outed for her exploits via social networking sites (Here’s looking at you, Larry Johnson).  From the “halloween costume” fairy who said he was out sick, to countless college students apprehended for drinking, the internet is becoming the newest stomping grounds for people to stalk your character.

There’s two ways to deal with this, either no one puts up anything of themselves online anymore, or there becomes an Internet Constitution so to speak, where things like Facebook and Myspace can no longer be used as evidence in employment cases, without additional criminal charges, for example.  I’m hoping it’s the latter, otherwise I’ll have to take down all my Chippendales pictures… again.   Sigh…

Marv Albert, best known for his legal battle which alleged he forcibly had his way with a womans bum, and bit her backside, was almost treated the same way by the upstanding human beings who comprise Curtis Jackson’s (aka 50 cent) entourage.

From LA Times

As Albert arrived, with an entourage of one, TNT public relations specialist Jeff Pomeroy, there was a sudden scuffle when a multitude of 50 Cent protectors seemed unfamiliar with Albert. There was shouting (“It’s Marv Albert,” yelled a Kimmel show guard, a pronouncement that seemed to have no effect on the 50 Cent phalanx.) There were obscenities. A fist or two flying. A “Don’t you put your hands on me” pronouncement.

The question everyone is asking at this point is who would actually win in a brawl – 50 or Albert? Lets look at the tale of the tape.

It’s a tossup!!! The deciding factor has to be the degree of craziness. We know at this point how crazy 50 cent and his entourage are…. but what Marv Albert does behind closed doors is largely a mystery. I’ll take Albert in this fight; we know what to expect from 50, but Albert could surprise us all!

When I think of the sport I enjoy watching the most, college basketball immediately comes to mind. It’s not that other sports, such as the NFL, NBA, MLB, CFB are bad, but lately they are not resonating with me as they once did. Sure, the National Football League is great, Sunday’s this time of year you can pretty much sit your ass on the couch all day and watch people hit each other for 8 hour. (You do this while stuffing your face with wings, chips, and beer – then have the audacity to criticize the players and coaches)

I know you won't bother reading this unless you see boobs. I understand the internet.

But no other sport is as balanced, TV friendly, or easy to start enjoying whether you start watching in November or March.  The number one reason college basketball is so great is the depth of talent. With only 5 players starting, and 12-14 total players per team, the immense talent spread across the nation can fill out collegiate rosters with ease.  This is the reason you see March Madness, and Butler make a run to the sweet sixteen, or a bunch of hicks from Vermont knock of perennial powerhouse Syracuse. Football has a 50 man roster, Baseball a 25-30.

Roster size also affects the dynamics of the team. In this case, smaller is better – there is a more intimate connection between the players on the floor. If one player is struggling its harder for the team to overcome. Likewise, when one player dominates, the team stands a great chance to win (Steph Curry with Davidson a few years back).

I’ve heard many times that college basketball is all about coaches, and its true. While I can’t name you a single player on Gonzaga this year, I know their coach Mark Few is going to have that squad positioned for a run in the tournament come March. Once you get to know the coaches you get an immediate idea of the power structure of the league.

The balance between great and good coaches is what makes the difference come March. Sure, upsets happen, and Cinderella goes dancing for a few games, but in the end the combination of great coaches with great talent, and good coaches with good talent wins out.

You've made it this far, another image to reward you.

The final piece of the puzzle here is the fans. Find me an NFL stadium, MLB ball park, or NBA arena with such a close nit, coordinated, and quite frankly drunk group of people and I’ll eat my hat (in typing that last part i aged by 50 years and got nervous my social security check got lost in the mail).

The fans at these games CARE. They don’t pay obscene amounts of money for a ticket, try to impress clients, and show a passion not seen outside from the soccer pitch in Europe. Why bother with a 4 hour baseball game with half the stadium more interested in seeing the Rally Monkey than the game itself, when you can watch a 2 hour fast paced game and get pulled in by the energy of the crowd?

As much as I love all sports, nothing else quite comes together for me like college basketball does. Great players, legendary coaches, passionate fans, and only 2 hours; its the perfect recipe for the greatest sport on Earth.

Marketing Rule #1 – Sex Sells. This is so well known, that even old curmudgeons like Billy Packer understand the premise. The most coveted demographic in advertising is the 18-45 year old male. It is no coincidence that 18-45 year old men enjoy beer, cars, sports, and video games.

So when launching a promotion related to video games over the internet, one would think a great way to generate interest would be to use pictures of attractive women. To the folks at Haynes, this was too difficult to figure out. Not only did they violate this rule, but they used perhaps the worst image possible to convey the tagline of the campaign “Game in Comfort”

Seriously, does this man on the right look at all to you like he is comfortable? Sitting there in a shirt and tie, and some serious perspiration going on; he’s sweating more than the fat hairy kid who you seemed to always have to play against in basketball (to make matters worse, this guy would always be on the skins team).

But I digress – his facial expression alone is the exact opposite of something 99.7%* of men consider to be a look of comfort. I can’t tell if hes trying to hold in a bowel movement, or he just thought of his mother and father fucking upstairs. To game in comfort means to be in sweatpants and a t-shirt, have a beer, and some good snacks. I know this from experience.

Haynes really dropped the ball on this one. Then again, I wrote a whole article on it, so maybe they got the last laugh…

(* You may be wondering about the .3% of men who think that is a comfortable look. According to South Park, those are the guys who enjoy gerbils in their butt.)