Senator Ted Kennedy, Steve McNair, DJ AM, Michael Jackson.

What do all of these men have in common besides death? The public’s outpouring of affection for them. Michael Jackson’s funeral was a global event, McNair had a whole league of football players, and Ted Kennedy had 3 living presidents at his funeral and re-purposed construction signs “Thank You Ted: From the People of Massachusetts” all along the Mass Pike. There is certainly a reason for such support, they are after all public figures who have done notable things in their lives often to the benefit of others.

However, they are only human, a fact many people choose to either accept or ignore during the days/weeks after their death. McNair was having an extra-marital affair with a young woman he met at a Dave & Busters. Jackson was presumably enjoying an entire pharmacy worth of prescription drugs which he took in excess. DJ AM enjoyed illicit drugs and died because of his addiction to them. Ted Kennedy’s death, while not directly associated with anything out of the norm, did practically kill a woman back in 1969.

But we the public choose to mostly ignore these facts in death. Perhaps we can’t bring ourselves to be critical in a time of mourning; no one wants to come across as the jackass who doesn’t care. But more to the point, I feel we simply accept the imperfections of their lives and turn our heads the other way. What type of culture are we creating then, one in which as long as you do a few things that are good, the things which are bad are simply accepted?

John Smith down the street does some community service for local organizations, is the coach of his sons little league team, and is an active member of his church. He is by all accounts a typical middle-upper class family man. But Mr. Smith has a problem – he is addicted to gambling and hookers. He finds time to slip away through a bunch of lies which, to those who know him, seem like rational explanations. Due to this, relations with his wife sour and he realizes that hes lost so much money he won’t be able to put his kids through college. Mr. Smith then takes his life.

In death, his family, friends, and those who knew him will say how wonderful he was; and to be sure doing those things in the community is a great thing to do. They will say to everyone in attendance, “Be like John Smith, help your community, and spend time with your family”. What they wont say is “John Smith as you may now know, had a gambling problem, something that if anyone else is going through should use this example and seek help. Let Mr. Smith’s unfortunate circumstance give you the motivation you need to turn your life around”

At the end of the day, we are defined by the company we keep, and the decisions we make. Consider every decision you are about to make and how it will define you. Once you die, you stop writing the story of your life and it begins being re-written for you; do your best to make sure the re-write is exactly what you wanted.