Story from AP by Colleen Slevin (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

DENVER – Colorado is changing the rules for how teachers earn and keep the sweeping job protections known as tenure, linking student performance to job security despite outcry from teacher unions that have steadfastly defended the system for decades.

(…)

It requires teachers to be evaluated annually, with at least half of their rating based on whether their students progressed during the school year. Beginning teachers will have to show they’ve boosted student achievement for three straight years to earn tenure.

Teachers could lose tenure if their students don’t show progress for two consecutive years. Under the old system, teachers simply had to work for three years to gain tenure, the typical wait around the country.

Walsh thinks Colorado is now at the head of the pack in the second round of the Obama administration’s Race to the Top competition, a $4.35 billion pot of stimulus money designed to prod just such changes.

For those unfamiliar with the Race to the Top program, it is similar in style to some of the proposed healthcare changes.  Most notably, it allows states to compete for federal grants, and doles out those grants based on a judgment of which states are enacting the most effective reforms regarding education.  It provides very heavy incentive for states to adopt a pay system based more on student performance, as both President Obama and Education Secretary Arne Duncan openly support the measure.   Colorado’s recent developments have probably ensured them a larger portion of “Phase 2″ of the grants.  (Link here for official Race to the Top site)

Every state but Wisconsin has some form of tenure. The protections were intended to protect teachers from being fired because of their politics, religion or other arbitrary reasons. But Patrick McGuinn, a political science professor at Drew University who has studied tenure, said they have evolved into virtual employment guarantees.

On average, school districts across the country dismiss 2.1 percent of teachers annually, generally for bad conduct rather than performance.

Translation:  Schools are more likely to fire a pedophile than they are a poor-performer.  How many companies do you know that run like this, other than the Catholic Church?  This CANNOT be the most effective methodology for attracting talent.

Oh, and for disclosure, Wisconsin’s state educational ranking is 8th nationally, as of 2006-2007.

Past efforts to change tenure have caused problems for both parties.

In Georgia, Democratic Gov. Roy Barnes lost the support of the teachers’ union — and later his office — after pushing to get rid of tenure for new hires in 2000.

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger tangled with teachers and lost after calling a special election to change tenure rules in 2005. The teachers’ union raised dues and amassed $50 million to fight the proposal.

In the political climate of late we’ve been extremely quick to lambast lobbyists and special interest groups, to the point that we seem eager to cleanse Washington of any incumbents with apparent ties to them.  What does this look like?  50 million dollars!  That’s lobbying.  Hardcore, get-ready-you-motherfuckers lobbying.

Look at GM of late.  Unions may not have been the sole scapegoat, but its difficult to imagine them as the heroes in the recent auto industry crisis either.  Good pay should mean good performance.  Better performers should get better pay.  At some point, unions need to get back to their core functionality: protecting workers from gross injustice, not negotiating inflated compensation, or even worse, the inability to further compensate those who are inflated performers.

The problem here isn’t the oil, it could keep spewing into August like BP has recently said, and the planet would be no worse off. Current estimates show the oceans of the world comprising of 320 million cubic miles, which is 3 Sexillion (or 10^21) gallons of seawater. I had to look this number up because it was so big. Using the worst case scenario at this point of 40 million (or 10^6) gallons leaked, you can see the disparity, it is about 1 trillionth of a percent.  Am I trying to brush off the disaster? No, but hopefully this puts into context the vastness of the oceans, and how just one affected area isn’t doom and gloom for the entire Earth.

Yet this is the rallying cry – stop the oil! My rallying cry – “Remember what the government is supposed to do”. It boils down to 2 distinct points. One is that this is not the governments responsibility to fix. BP and all the other oil companies are the experts in their field. If anyone can figure out how to stop the oil from spewing up out of the well it’s this industry. What can Obama and his administration possibly do that would help? Let the experts figure it out. If the construction of the new Freedom Towers in NYC hits a snag in construction, are we going to call the government to fix, or will we let the engineers and project managers handle it?

Looks like someone made a mess

It is however the governments responsibility to assess damages and either exercise it’s right under law or enact legislation to ensure if a similar event happens in the future, there is a distinct protocol and expectations laid out ahead of time.  Right now more people are bickering about the best way to stop the oil than they are the best way to “make good” the situation. It’s clear fishing in the gulf will take a while to return. What kind of subsidies should BP pay to the local fishermen? As a result of this, should we look to make it more affordable for imports on shrimp and other seafood that will likely see a price hike as a result? These are the questions that should be being asked, not if golf balls and mud can really stop a leak.

"And over here is where I'm hiding my porn collection... "

It all boils down to the simple fact that this leak is more of a political problem than an environmental one. Our government is too big to be able to handle this. Every house subcommittee who has even the slightest inkling of a potential connection wants to get involved. Not because they care about the Gulf, or BP, or the poor fishermen of the region. They care about making a name for themselves and proving they are the big fish in the pond of Washington DC (my attempt at a clever pun). Even worse, the government is so big and so vast that most ordinary Americans have no idea who, aside from Barack Hussein Obama, should be handling things.

It makes no difference to the politicians what ultimately happens. But everyone knows there are newspapers to sell and sites just like this one writing about the spill. People will feign altruism and every talking head in Washington is going to make sure they have a hat in the ring. Hopefully BP is able to stop the leak soon, and our government responds with some intelligent decisions. I just hope people begin to recognize that we lack the flexibility and the cooperative nature necessary to launch an effective response. Simply put, the government is too big to do much of anything. This one is up to the citizens and private industry. Stop waiting around for the government to fix it.

Enjoy the video after the break!

From ESPN

In my 28 years of public service, I have made a lot of tough calls. But with a federal government unwilling to secure our border for years and years, Arizona is left with little choice. Imagine a sporting event in which rules have been agreed to for 70 years, but the umpires refuse to enforce those rules. It makes no sense.

……

Essentially, our border leaks like a team with a last-place defense. The very same week that I signed the new law, a major drug ring was broken up and Mexican cartel operatives suspected of running 40,000 pounds of marijuana through southern Arizona were indicted.

Of course, the actual message was more political posturing, fact spewing, and playing to the hearts of the citizens. I completely agree with the Governor, but the fact she is reaching out to sports fans just shows how much of a hot button issue this new law is.

Typically ESPN gets lambasted by it’s viewers when it does a piece with the President picking his tournament brackets; it’s seen as too political. The prevailing notion is that politics and sports should be separate. Many fans feel they turn to sports to get away from politics. Yet in this instance, it appears fans are very intrigued by the political statements being made by the Phoenix Suns (wearing “Los Suns” jerseys during game 2 of the Western Conference Semi’s) and a group of MLB players who are calling for a boycott of the 2011 All-Star game (it’s scheduled to be held in Arizona).

Personally, I could care less what a group of players, or an owner of a team wants to do in this regard. But it is disappointing to me as a sports fan to see these people use their platform of sports to campaign for a personal cause. Much like Hollywood actors who feel because they are in a somewhat successful movie their political opinions matter; I just don’t feel it’s right. I felt the same way about Tim Tebow’s biblical messages on his eye-black. There is a time and a place for personal convictions and belives, and televised sports is not one of them.

Story from AP by Paul Davenport (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

The changes include one strengthening restrictions against using race or ethnicity as the basis for questioning by police and inserts those same restrictions in other parts of the law.

Another change states that immigration-status questions would follow a law enforcement officer’s stopping, detaining or arresting a person while enforcing another law. The earlier law had referred to a “contact” with police.

(skip ahead)

Stephen Montoya, a Phoenix lawyer representing a police officer whose lawsuit was one of three filed Thursday to challenge the law, said the changes wouldn’t derail the lawsuit because the state is still unconstitutionally trying to regulate immigration, a federal responsibility.

(skip ahead)

Rep. Kyrsten Sinema, D-Phoenix, said the new wording regarding local civil ordinances could spur complaints of racial profiling based on complaints about cars parked on lawns and debris in yards.

Now that’s just racist.

In typical Captain Polemic fashion, I am going to outline my thoughts on this issue in numbered format rather than proper prose.

1)  This law still doesn’t do enough to ensure proper protocol.  With any other law (such as when a police officer can or cannot enter your home), there is a strict set of guidelines.  Without a warrant, they cannot enter, for example.  This addition came closer to explicitly mapping out when officers can and cannot perform immigration checks, but still leaves way too much leeway for interpretation.  It is not nearly as robust as most of our other laws.

2)  Regarding that protocol, exceptions need to be made for victims of violent crimes.  I do not intend this as a scare-tactic or sensationalized cannon fodder for my argument, but what is going to happen when there is a 14-year-old rape or assault victim, afraid to report a crime because it could result in her parents being deported?   The addition seems to state they can only pursue immigration information when enforcing another law, but will that protect those making accusations, or apply to anyone involved in the complaint?

3) Arizona is right in one regard.  It is the responsibility of the federal government to introduce and enforce reasonable immigration laws, and they have sat on their hands in this regard.  No one has mentioned how violent the turf/drug wars have really been at the Mexican border.  Over 18,000 deaths have been reported so far, some of them being American citizens or kidnapping victims.  States like Arizona and Texas have some very valid reasons to be apprehensive that no federal action has been taken by now.  They are doing what people do when they feel desperate: making a point.

4) For federal immigration reform to be done reasonably, there will be a necessary distinction between those who crossed the border illegally and those who are actual criminals.  Many anti-immigration activists will protest this, but a person who crossed the border and wants to work and escape violence in their home country is vastly different from one who wants to smuggle drugs or commit violent acts.  They need to be treated that way.  Perhaps the biggest flaw in this bill is that it treats those citizens in the same regard as the ones causing so many problems at the border, without giving them any stream-lined means to become legitimate, contributing citizens of the U.S.  For immigration reform to be enacted at the federal level with any modicum of stability and future efficacy, a route must be drawn for non-violent illegal immigrants to become citizens.  These people are NOT criminals, it is time they earn fair wages and pay fair taxes.

Story from ArgusLeader by Peter Harriman

Not wanting to be labeled as a racist or hateful group, people within the party intentionally toned down rhetoric for yesterday’s events.

Ronald Reagan was quoted, invoked and lionized liberally at the South Dakota Tea Party Tax Day program Thursday at the Holiday Inn City Centre.

Sarah Palin wasn’t mentioned. Nor was President Obama.

The closest reference to a divisive figure of the day came in the title of Bob Bush’s song sung early in the evening: “God, Freedom and Liberty, an Ode to Sean Hannity.”

The previous evening, following a Tea Party-sponsored debate among Republican gubernatorial candidates, Tea Party organizer Allen Unruh had said the U.S. “is on the verge of the likes of a Civil War. But we’ll win with ballots not bullets,” and “our first black president is reinstituting slavery for Americans.”

Thursday, however, Unruh, and keynote speaker Deborah Brezina stayed away from hot-button contemporary politics and veiled threats of secession. Instead, they focused on principles of liberty embraced by the Founding Fathers and echoed by Reagan. Brezina, a Winston Churchill scholar, also drew similar parallels to the British World War II leader.

While Unruh’s comments may not have been the most tactful, he is only one man.  Is the Tea Party really racist, or extremist?  Are they a group preaching hate under the guise of constitutional liberty?  Or are they a misunderstood political movement, being defined by the few on the outer ends of the spectrum?

In an attempt to find out, I did what any good voter would do.  I trolled the internet for about 45 seconds to find funny pictures that were even tangentially related to the debate.   Lucky for me, there were many other Tax Day Tea Party events across the country, and there were many funny photos to find.  A few favorites were culled from the Huffington Post (link here)

This seems rational.

Like you didn’t see this coming already.  By the way, how has “Joe the Plumber” really managed to stick this long?  Does anyone know this guy’s last name?  Not since Bob the Builder has a man been so defined by an occupation.

Nothing racist about that!

That’s good to know.  I was trying to figure out which of you were the sellouts and who was keepin’ it real.  I HATE bandwagon fans.

There’s that Jesus guy again.  Always butting in with his opinion.

A novice protester.

By far the best photo.

Story from AP by Robert Burns (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama optimistically opened a 47-nation nuclear summit Monday, boosted by Ukraine’s announcement that it will give up its weapons-grade uranium. More sobering: The White House counterterror chief warned that al-Qaida is vigorously pursuing ingredients and expertise for a bomb.

…

In a brief exchange with reporters at the White House, Obama said of the summit: “War is not won by victory.” He went on to add, “Thank god I did not become involved with the British.”

…

Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Obama’s conference offers a way to reinforce existing global controls on nuclear materials.

“It was all as I had left it except that now it was spring. I looked in the door of the big room and saw the major sitting at his desk, the window open and the sunlight coming into the room,” he continued.

Pressed for more information, Obama replied: “Miss Barkley was quite tall. She wore what seemed to be a nurse’s uniform, was blonde and had a tawny skin and gray eyes.  She despised nukes.  I thought she was very beautiful… I kissed her and saw that her eyes were shut. I kissed both her shut eyes. I thought she was probably a little crazy. It was all right if she was. I did not care what I was getting into, so long as the nukes were gone. This was better than going every evening to the house for officers where the girls climbed all over you and put your cap on backwards as a sign of affection between their trips upstairs with other officers,”  and at this he needed a moment to compose himself.

…

He said Obama and Hu agreed that a set of potential sanctions should make clear to Iran the cost of continued nuclear defiance. Yet there was no breakthrough, and Chinese spokesman Ma Zhaoxu did not mention sanctions in his more-general statement on the meeting.

“I believe we should get the war over.” the Chinese statement said.

Obama ended the discussion with reporters on an elegiac note:

“The nukes are now gone, but after I had got them out and shut the door and turned off the light it wasn’t any good.  It was like saying good-bye to a statue.  After awhile I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.”

By now it should be obvious the majority of this post was written facetiously.  Link here for where these quotes are coming from, and much due credit to Ernest Hemingway.

Story from CNN by Peter Hamby:

Romney did not appear at the New Orleans conference, but received 439 votes — or 24 percent — of the 1,806 ballots cast by delegates at the conference, held in New Orleans. Paul earned 438 votes.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich tied for third place with 18 percent of the vote.

(skip ahead)

Like most straw polls, Saturday’s results should not be considered a reliable predictor of future success. Former Tennessee Sen. Bill Frist won the last SRLC contest in 2006 but never ran for president. The straw poll was accurate in 1998, however, when George W. Bush took the top spot two years before winning the White House.

The ballot also lacked several big names. Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, South Dakota Sen. John Thune, Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, Texas Gov. Rick Perry — all of whom have been mentioned as possible 2012 candidates — were not listed.

OK.  It’s time for our own GOP predictions.  The very first Captain Polemic Poll:

1)  Mitt Romney will not be the GOP candidate left standing in 2012.  Just like in 2008, his Mormon religion will cause too much division amongst Evangelical conservatives.  Unless he does something drastic to change the perception of Mormonism as a “cult,” his religion will still be a hurdle in 2012.

2) Despite rabid support, Sarah Palin will NOT be the GOP candidate either.  She is to the GOP what Hillary Clinton was to the Democrats in some regards.  She does a terrific job energizing the most idealistic of the party’s base, but is too polarizing a figure to reliably deliver electorates.  She could just as likely turn a purple state blue as she could turn it red, and that doesn’t bode well for her as a candidate. Taking data of her fund-raising ability and the 5 key factors in the 2008 exit-polling, a mock-electorate map was made showing her most and least favorable states, linked here.

The states are colored so that red=favorable and blue = cold for Palin.  Now look at this map and compare it to the list of swing states most important in presidential elections, and the ones Obama and Mccain won in 2008 (accompanied with # of electoral votes):

CO (9) – Obama

FL (27) – Obama

IN (11) – Obama

MO (11) – McCain

NV (5) – Obama

NH (4) – Obama

NM (5) – Obama

NC (15) – Obama

OH (20) – Obama

PA (21) – Obama

VA (13) – Obama

Look at that list, and remember that Obama won 365-173 in 2008.  Now look at the map again.  Which states does Palin have a real shot in?  I’m guessing Florida is a no.  Missouri was already Mccain’s.  Indiana is a reasonable shot, so let’s give it to her.  I’ll give Nevada, New Hampshire and New Mexico too.  And I definitely believe she has a real shot in North Carolina, so I’m going to throw that in.  That puts Obama at 325 votes, well more than the 270 he needs. Now look at the last three (and most crucial) swing states.  Ohio, Pennsylvania and Virginia.  White, blue and blue.  That doesn’t bode well.  With fiscal-conservatives as opposed to social-conservatives, she gains less and less traction.  That is not a good sign.  If Palin were able to pull 2 of these 3 states, suddenly she’d be within striking distance, but would still have to pull a miracle or two (such as winning Florida or Minnesota/Michigan).  But I doubt she’d be able to.  Ohio, Pennsylvania and Virginia are truely “purple” states, where she is likely to struggle most.

Also remember that Iowa and New Hampshire are the first two primary states, and while it may not be fair they play a disproportionate role in candidate funding down the road.  Obama placed a large part of his strategy against Clinton on winning Iowa.  Neither of these states are necessarily warm to Sarah Palin.

Keep in mind that while the easiest politicians to oust are incumbent governors, the hardest to oust are incumbent Presidents.  She would really have her work cut out for her, and a drastic change in rhetoric and campaign-tone would be necessary to win.  Nothing short of brand-metamorphosis would deliver her the White House.

3)  Somebody who WASN’T at the Straw Poll will end up being the GOP’s presidential nominee.

Story from POLITICO by David Catanese (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

At a senior center in Manchester Wednesday, one woman turned away when Hodes offered his outstretched hand for an introduction.

“I don’t want to shake your hand. You voted for health care, so just go,” snapped Carmen Guimond, as she refocused on her lunch of roast beef and mashed potatoes and waved him on.

When Hodes decided to stay at the table and launch a defense of what’s considered to be one of the more popular provisions of the law — closing the “doughnut hole,” a gap in prescription drug coverage for Medicare recipients — she challenged him about whether he had read the entire bill and dismissed his explanation.

“Two hundred and forty dollars in the first year. That’s all it is,” she said, referring to the initial subsidy. “That’s not much.”

“And over time, by 2020, it closes the doughnut hole,” Hodes said.

“We’ll all be dead by then,” she deadpanned.

Where the hell did they find this lady?  She sounds like Ernest Hemingway’s sister.  To hell with the war!   I’m just waiting for my turn to die….

A man who did not want to be identified said he pulled Hodes aside at the Manchester event to ask him why he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. The congressman told him he’s allergic to gold. His constituent remained skeptical.

“It’s a satisfactory answer, but I don’t know if it’s true,” the man said afterward, citing “all the improprieties out there” as the reason he inquired.

What normal man actively seeks out missing wedding rings when meeting people?  At least his eyesight is still good.

Yet another man was miffed that he received a form letter from the representative’s office in response to six specific questions he sent her by mail.

“I expect a reply. I heard a position statement that did not answer any of my questions,” complained Ben Niles of Merrimack.

Shea-Porter had her defenders, too, and they were uncowed. When one heckler mentioned polling against health care reform, he was greeted with, “That’s Sarah Palin’s death panel lies!”

Another supporter of the congresswoman responded to a comment with, “What, are you employed by some insurance company? Shut up!”

If you’ve ever wondered why our politicians are rarely the intellectual, thoughtful, kind-hearted and affable men and women we hope for, and are often instead the hooker-crazed (Eliot Spitzer), Troopergating (Sarah Palin), prego-sex-taping (John Edwards), “I’ve got FUCKING GOLD” manipulating (Rod Blageovich), Drunk-driving-dead-girl-abandoning (Kennedy) assholes you see on TV, this is why.  What sane person would want to put up with idiot conspiracy theories like these day after day?  Checking for a fucking wedding ring?  “I hate you because you didn’t give me what I wanted in the next 8 years, because I’ll be dead anyway?”  Politics is like selling crack.  If you make it to the top, you’re rolling on 20′s and banging ho’s while making six figures a year.  Otherwise you’re making 6 bucks an hour, getting shot at, and living at your mother’s place.  Likewise in Washington, if you make it to President or Congress/Senate, well congratulations because you’re one of the powerful few.  Otherwise you’re left to tame the dunces, only with less pay, fame and security.

God Bless you representatives, you are better, more patient people than I.

Story from CNN:

Queen of Talk Oprah Winfrey will set the stage for Rielle Hunter – John Edwards’ former mistress – to give her first televised interview, CNN has confirmed.

Last May, Edwards’ wife Elizabeth talked to Winfrey about her husband’s infidelity and her battle with cancer. When Winfrey asked Elizabeth whether or not she still loved her husband, she responded, “It’s complicated.” The couple have since separated.

She was referring to her Facebook status.

What kind of questions will Oprah ask Hunter?  Perhaps they’ll discuss how she is portrayed in Game Change, a book detailing the gossip within the Democratic party leading up to the presidential election (it basically said she was bat-shit nuts).  Or maybe the prego-sex-tape that one of Edwards’ aides held in his possession?  It’s going to be hard to throw this woman any easy ones.  Then again, if there is anyone who can turn around someone’s image as a home-wrecking deviant who prays on those stricken with cancer, I’m sure it’s Oprah.  God that woman can sell fire in hell if she wanted to.  Did you know according to one estimate, she delivered over a million votes for President Obama during his campaign?

Well.  Now you do.  You’re welcome.