Clay Zavada of the MLB’s Arizona Diamondbacks has won the American Mustache Institutes (AMI) “Mustached American of the Year” award for 2009. Not a bad ’stache by any means, but he beat out Capt Sully Sullenberger – the dude who landed a full sized commercial aircraft on a river next to Manhattan.

A statement from the AMI makes me question just how serious or dillusional members of the organization are.   -Via AMI

“Clay and his menacing mouth garden were a great story throughout the 2009 baseball season, and Quicken and the American Mustache Institute are proud to honor him as the ‘Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year’ award winner,” said Chelsea Marti of Quicken®, who herself is a robust supporter of the Mustached American way of life.

It’s good to know that females in the finance industry believe and support in a mans right to wear a mustache. But I don’t quite understand the appeal of a mustache. It seems like it gets in the way of normal activities, like blowing your nose. Plus, it predestines the wearer of said ’stache to a lifetime fighting crime, or riding around the country on a motorcycle. I’m all for the clean cut look which never goes out of style.

However, if i was going to sport a ’stache my only hope is it would be half as good as this one being worn by Nick Offerman for his character Ron Swanson on NBC’s Parks and Recreation.

This mustache conveys power and leadership. I would walk off a bridge for this man.

Democrats have purportedly ended months of negotiations by agreeing on a new healthcare proposal to be formally unveiled by Nancy Pelosi Thursday morning.  It includes the public option.

Who Said Only Republicans Were Fat and White?

Story from AP (Courtesy of Yahoo! News)

The rollout will cap months of arduous negotiations to bridge differences between liberal and moderate Democrats and blend health care overhaul bills passed by three separate committees over the summer. The developments in the House came as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., tried to round up support among moderate Democrats for his bill, which includes a modified government insurance option that states could opt out of.

Republicans criticized the bill even before it was unveiled.

“Americans’ health care is too important to risk on one gigantic bill that was negotiated behind closed doors,” said Rep. Dave Camp, R-Mich. “The Medicare cuts will hurt seniors, the tax increases will kill jobs and the government takeover of health care will increase premium costs.”

File this under: “Journalist’s obligatory mention of minority party.”

The final product in the House, reflecting many of President Barack Obama’s priorities, includes new requirements for employers to offer insurance to their workers or face penalties, fines on Americans who don’t purchase coverage and subsidies to help lower-income people do so. Insurance companies would face new prohibitions against charging much more to older people or denying coverage to people with health conditions.

Gooood……

The price tag, topping $1 trillion over 10 years, would be paid for by taxing high-income people and cutting some $500 billion in payments to Medicare providers. The legislation would extend health coverage to around 95 percent of Americans.

Not so gooood…..

This still doesn’t guarantee anything, but at least it’s a question of getting swing-vote Republicans on one side, as opposed to getting swing-vote Democrats and Republicans on one side.  The most likely swing is Olympia Snowe (Maine-R), although with the public option’s inclusion she may be out.

Apple has often been compared by the media to cult; people don’t just use Apple products, they adore them. Steve Jobs is the leader, the chosen one who will call the spaceship back to earth, and users will drink whatever kool aid he serves them.

The video below just goes to show how much the followers drink the kool aid. The pair spent about $2,000 each on their costumes. It is a fully functional, user controlled, iPhone. According to switched.com

Each costume weighs around 85 pounds, and is powered by a car battery worn, we’re told, between the trick-or-treater’s legs. Hooking up an iPhone 3GS to a 42-inch LCD screen effectively turns your average Halloweener into a bona fide human iPhone. The two costumes took about three weeks to assemble, and cost the guys a handsome sum of $2,000. Still, they claim to have absolutely “no regrets.”

Simply Stunning! Lets hope these guys get laid by some beautiful women this Halloween, because for 2,000 each, they had alternatives.

In our previous Hulu Sunday post, I introduced the world (okay, maybe a few people) to the greatness that is Three Sheets. Now, I’d like to open the eyes of those individuals who are into NBC comedy on Thursday night, and introduce them to ABC’s FlashForward

The premise of the show is that the entire population on Earth blacks out for 2 minutes, 17 seconds, and during that time has visions of the future. In order to enjoy this show, you do need to suspend reality a bit and just enjoy the story being told. The internet has caused all of us to be hypercritical of just about everything on TV. There are negatives in this show, there will be plot holes, and things which just don’t seem to make any sense. Much like LOST, more questions are being asked, than answered.

So if you enjoy this type of show, but can’t be torn away from NBC on Thursday nights, check it out on Hulu and get drawn in.

Story from ESPN.com

Not content with just doing his job playing football, Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has announced plans to launch the OCNN – Ochocinco News Network. I honestly can’t make this stuff up guys – he’s serious!

“I’m sort of still feeling this out,” he said. “It’s based on what I already do. I’ll bring in news the way I always do, and I’ll actually be adding to it.”

If I’m a player on the Bengals, I am not comfortable with this at all. There is a certain bond that is built between teammates and friends, when, after knocking the shit out of each other on the gridiron for 3 hours, your now just hanging out in the locker room talking about life. If Chad Ochocinco is around though your going to need to make sure what your saying won’t make national headlines.

The NFL and the Bengals in particular can’t want this to happen. If they did, ESPN would hire reporters to live with teams during the whole year with uninterrupted access to where ever they want whenever they want. I really believe that if the NFL allowed him, Ed Werder would start showering with the Cowboys to file even more authentic reports than he does today.

Bottom line is this: Media is media, and players are players. The line cannot be crossed without consequence. What those consequences are in this case remain to be seen, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Ocho’s performance starts to taper off as he does more reporting, as well as the trust in the locker room starts to erode.

Below video is Skip Bayless debating Ocho on ESPN’s First Take in September. A rematch has been scheduled in Bristol, CT in the coming weeks.

As has been well documented and roundly discussed: Steve Phillips had sex with a 22-year old production assistant. Yawn.  You can Google the shit out of this if you want to, it’s spread through the intarwebs by now.  Personally, most people in almost every company can recall instances of senior-position men making friendly with the young doe-eyed assistants and interns.  Nothing about this story seems that special.   The mission of this post is not to delve into Phillip’s sexual escapades.  The point of this post is to call out Deadspin for their assualt on ESPN, for what I honestly believe is an example of petulance and near-sightedness from an otherwise entertaining and revolutionary sports-blog.

Lately Deadspin had decided that ESPN is their sworn enemy, in large part because they declined to give Deadspin anything to chew on regarding the Steve Phillips story.

From Deadspin: “ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Sexual Depravity”

“On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: S. Phillips.” The contents? “Rumor winding it’s way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold’s misdeed.”

After a call to ESPN public relations department asking about the “rumor” I was told that “I would be wrong” to print that story because it was inaccurate. Fine. I would have been. But natural follow-up question to these types of rumors, as per give-and-take protocol, is well, what’s the real story then? Was there an incident with Phillips that Baseball Tonight people are concerned about? However I was summarily nothing-to-see-here-please-dispersed.

Obviously, there was.

…

And since the tenuous connection between rumor and fact for accuracy’s sake has been a little eroded here, well, it’s probably about time to just unload the inbox of all the sordid rumors we’ve received over the years about various ESPN employees. Chances are, at this point, there’s some truth to them. We’ll just throw ‘em out there and see how many “no comments” or, you know, actual comments or “you would be completely wrongs” there are about these situations. Consider this one giant all-day version of “Deleted Scenes” or something.

Deadspin spent the rest of the day posting rumors of ESPN-related trysts: from Erik Kuselias to SVP of Marketing Katie Lacey to finally posting one disgruntled ex-employee’s anonymous “I’m Just Mad ESPN Never Got Me Laid” diatribe.

Before getting right to the “you were wrong, Deadspin” speech, keep in mind blogs like Deadspin aren’t exactly held to the highest standard of corporate professionalism.  WithLeather and KissingSuzyKolber are other prominent examples, and all three are graffiti-ed with rumors, celebrity gossip, and pictures of co-ed cheerleaders.  That’s part of what makes the site so fun to visit, it’s lack of rules.  Where ESPN or CBS or NBC’s websites have to toe the line between entertaining and politically correct, these blogs are shackled by no such chains.  This frees the air for masturbation references, sexual innuendo and dead-hooker jokes, which all offer their respective ephemeral thrills from time to time.  But it also means that when the authors reveal a sincere position on something, it’s as real as it gets.  The language is visceral, the opinions are direct.  No bullshit, no media-style colloquialisms, just authentic, articulate, emotionally raw opinion from unique perspectives.  It’s not like you’ll see the likes of Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson called a “selfish, insecure, backstabbing prick,” anytime soon on ESPN.com.  Sometimes just two or three paragraphs of this offers more for the sports-fan’s soul than most major-syndicate authors and bloggers can offer in pages, other than Bill Simmons (who because of his unique opinions and frankness, had some of his own beefs with ESPN, chronicled in decent detail by Deadspin).  Just look to some of these links for examples of differentiated posts from these sites.

Ex#1: http://deadspin.com/5387755/magic-and-isiahs-friendship-is-not-so-friendly-anymore

Ex#2: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/06/stop-comparing-dontes-sentence-to-michael-vicks.html

Ex#3:  http://withleather.uproxx.com/2009/10/nfl-brass-rush-limbaugh-is-divisive

With that said, it’s all the more disappointing to see Deadspin doing this.  I have no problem with blogs posting rumors on their sites, so long as they are clearly labeled as only rumors and discussed as such (which Deadspin technically did).  But I’ve never seen a blog post rumors so perniciously pointed at an adversary before, and it’s off-putting.  Since when does Deadspin have the right to act butt-hurt when ESPN doesn’t want to give them the salacious details regarding a sex story?  Think this through: Deadspin is an extremely popular blog that hasn’t always made nice with ESPN, and Deadspin calls them wanting the scoop on a potential story.  ESPN doesn’t owe them anything, and acted accordingly by offering no details.  Deadspin then decides that if they can’t get the skinny on what rumors are true, they will just post all sex-related rumors they’ve amassed over the last couple years and see what sticks. It’s like when the angry ex-boyfriend posts naked pictures of his former girlfriend online because she left him.  If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em.  And if you can’t beat ‘em, post the dirtiest details you can about their sex lives and let the good times roll.

What company would ever “out” one of their employees for sexual misconduct before making an official press release?  Jesus Christ, if the Catholic Church won’t do it for priests molesting kids, what makes you think ESPN will do it for consensual sex with a grown-up adult?  If you called Governor Sanford’s office a few days before the big press-conference, you’d have heard “He’s on the Appalachian Trail hiking!“  Right.  No company would ever do what Deadspin wanted ESPN to do, ever.  Acting indignant and self-righteous over their refusal to give up information is childish at best, cognitively dissonant at worst.  Deciding you will then post a rumor-laden vendetta against them for the next 24 hours just further cheapens your argument.

When blogs like Deadspin normally post rumors, they’re posted almost cheekily: like you, the lucky reader are in with them on a secret.  It’s a little more light-hearted, it’s informative or at least intriguing in most cases, and most of all it’s fun.  For example, when Matt Leinart’s party pictures were posted on their site, it wasn’t malicious, it was humanizing in a way.  It was like, “Here’s Matt Leinart being young and male, doing what you would do if you were a backup-QB too.  Enjoy.”  When a blog decides however that one company or one person has become the target of their ire and spouts off whatever they can, it wreaks of pettiness.

Please Deadspin, you are one of the great sports-blogs out there right now.  Your candid discussion of the ambient rumors and suspicions of the sports world are fun for us, the sports fans, to read.  But with today’s actions, you’ve stepped dangerously close to the TMZ-like vindictiveness that makes many readers nautious.  Get back to what you do best, entertaining and intriguing people.  Leave the pettiness for the hacks.

Recently a Halloween costume of an “illegal alien,” with extra-terrestial head garment decked in orange jumpsuit and holding a green card, has upset many.

Story from AP (Courtesy of Yahoo! News):

A Halloween costume that depicts a space creature in orange prison garb emblazoned with the words “illegal alien” is reigniting debate over a long-used term based on the U.S. government’s designation of all foreigners as aliens.

A few miles away in the Little Havana neighborhood, workers at a popular costume store said it was not something they would carry because it was discriminatory. They do stock a human taco costume, replete with a Mariachi hat.

Oh.  Well there’s no harm in that.  Who doesn’t love a taco wearing a festive hat?

Cashier Carmen Torres, who recalled facing discrimination after arriving from Cuba as a young girl in the 1960s, said the costume was tasteless. “They haven’t done anything bad. You can punish those who are criminals, but not people who are trying to, trying to work,” Torres said.

Why the hell are they including stuttering in the lady’s quote?  Is “trying to, trying to work” the AP’s way of saying “Look, this lady is obviously Hispanic, so her English is still a bit behind.  Don’t beleive us?  Just look at the stutter.  You’re welcome.”  We get it, AP.  Just put “trying to work” and save us the extra 5 seconds of our lives.  The weird thing is, whenever someone doesn’t make sense usually, you quote it by putting {sic} or some other edition to make it more coherent.  Why not do it now?  This is incredibly minor but bugging the shit out me.  I think I’ve had too much coffee.

William Gheen, head of the North Carolina-based political action committee Americans for Legal Immigration, said efforts to get stores not to sell the costume amounted to an attack on freedom of speech. He urged Americans to buy the costumes in protest.

“I looked at the costume and thought it was kind of funny. The only thing that wasn’t funny was how many illegal immigrants are in this country,” said Gheen, who has given speeches suggesting Latin Americans are bringing an epidemic of tuberculosis to the U.S., despite government figures showing the illness is at an all-time low.

He’s actually right.  One of the first signs of tuberculosis is rolling your “r”s.  Then comes the ability to play soccer and inexplicably digest large quantities of corn.

Jorge-Mario Cabrera, a spokesman for the immigrant coalition, said the costume “perpetuates this idea we have about undocumented immigrants as alien foreigners, strangers, scary.”

Cabrera said he knew the costume could be taken as a play on words but the jumpsuit was too close to what many immigrants must wear in detention centers, “where they can spend months at a time, and where there is a lot of suffering.”

“That the creature was holding a green card was a stab at a (broader) community,” he said, because it suggests even with a legal document, immigrants are still scary criminals.

Jorge is right.  Just because you’re indeed free to say or make something doesn’t mean that its not racist, or business should be forced to sell it despite public backlash.  There are people who preach “heritage, not hate” when flying the Confederate flag.  They’re free to do it, but it’s still really racist.  That’s like me walking into a Polish synagogue wearing a swastika on my t-shirt.  I’m free to explain that it’s “heritage, not hate.”  The rest of the world is also free however, to explain quite strenuously that I’ve now become the world’s next news-worthy pariah.

To the costume designers, we understand the premise.  You think illegal aliens are being coddled for breaking the law and entering the country, and that’s a perfectly viable opinion if it’s how you want to stake your claim.  But making a costume that portrays legal immigrants as felons is the height of stupidity, assuming you actually want your ideology to gain in popularity.

Also, how is this funny?  It’s just an alien in a jumpsuit.  The alien isn’t even doing anything cheeky like spreading his fingers or probing people.  The only way it’s funny is if it resonates with your political views and you say, “YES!  This is going to offend people!  That’s awesome because illegal immigrants bother me!  Racial tension!”  There’s a fine line between politically punctual humor and being an overbearing douche.  The main difference is politically punctual humor makes people laugh, even when they don’t always agree with you.   This costume has no such appeal.