Written by: Mike 
When Billy Mays passed away on Sunday I really didn’t know what to think. I felt like I was just getting to know the man behind the awesome beard thanks to his show Pitchmen on Discovery Channel. Someone who took their work seriously, but at the same time had fun with the image and brand he had built. And of all the celeb’s who passed last week, Billy was the one who most people of my generation had a connection with. So while I can’t say his passing has effected me emotionally, I did want to stop for a moment and share a few videos of Billy’s lesser known work. It should put a smile on your face. RIP Billy.
The Shamwow Guy..... Humiliated!
Billy ordering at McDonalds
Billy doing Some Comedy Work for Livemercial
Written by: Patrick Galvin From Yahoo: Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in federal prison today.
What the hell happened to that lady's face? Is that where they were hiding the money?
Dominic Ambrosino (note: one of the victims) called it an “indescribably heinous crime” and urged a long prison sentence so he “will know he is imprisoned in much the same way he imprisoned us and others.”
He added: “In a sense, I would like somebody in the court today to tell me how long is my sentence.”
I understand you were robbed, but I’m pretty sure equating a lifetime of unwilling sodomy to financial turmoil isn’t comparing apples to apples. In my humble opinion, of course.
This was in no way photo-shopped.
His immediate family did not attend the sentencing. But Ruth Madoff — often a target of victims’ scorn since her husband’s arrest — broke her silence afterward by issuing a statement through her lawyer. She said she, too, had been misled.
“I am embarrassed and ashamed,” she said. “Like everyone else, I feel betrayed and confused. Although I must say, this Manhattan penthouse wasn’t bad. Recession my ass! Aww, I don’t get to keep it?”
I might’ve added the last part.
Madoff, who has been jailed since March, already has taken a severe financial hit: Last week, a judge issued a preliminary $171 billion forfeiture order stripping Madoff of all his personal property, including real estate, investments, and $80 million in assets his wife Ruth had claimed were hers. The order left her with $2.5 million that couldn’t be tied to the fraud.
I guess Ruth isn’t doing so bad after all. How the hell does an investigation lose track of 2.5 million dollars? How can they not tie it to a fraud? When they arrested Frank Lucas, they looted every lost dollar they could out of his house. Why wasn’t there the same type of thing happening here?
I won’t go into the umpteenth diatribe written today regarding how “heinous” and “monstrous” Madoff’s crimes were. I’ll just say this: ShareBuilder.com, bitches.
Written by: Mike 
Science is great, its found out many things which have improved our quality of life, and overall lifespan; I think its safe to say that without it we wouldn’t be very far along in our evolutionary timeline. Sometimes though, people get so consumed in science, they don’t stop and ask a very logical question – “does this really matter?” Such was the case with a recent experiment funded by the National Institutes of Health.
Women are more accurate at pounding nails, a new study finds. At least in the light. Women hit the nail on the head more often in lighted conditions in a lab, but in the dark, men did better. Scientists aren’t sure why, but they have a provocative idea.
Full Article Here
This is just mind boggling; on two fronts. The first is that clearly men are better at nailing things (see that double entendre!) For centuries men have been the ones building this nation, so I’m sorry if I’m a bit skeptical that some schmuck involved in this survey wants to tell America we had it all wrong from the 1800′s till now.
Secondly, is this even necessary information to gather? So a man can’t see as well in the light? Good thing we invented electricity for when its dark. Honestly, this experiment has no practical application to society. What man is going to do construction in the dark, and what woman is going to want to get involved in construction? They just spent thousands of dollars on information which is not benefiting anyone other than them so they can pat themselves on the back. BRAVO!!
Written by: Mike At the Travelers Championship on Saturday I saw something that you do not typically associate with golf. While beginning the 3rd round at the Travelers Championship Sergio Garcia, with the help of his caddy, was planting the seeds of some type of relationship with 3 very attractive females. Due to the PGA’s strict no PDA’s/Camera rule I couldn’t take a picture, but this story is a first hand account of the proceedings on the 2nd green/3rd tee.
"This is really just an excuse to dress in slutty clothes and get wasted!"
After hitting his approach shot on 2 and landing safely on the green, Sergio’s caddy jogged over to the 3rd tee and grabbed a bunch of bottled water (sold normally for $4) and handed it to 3 absolutely stunning women. I was standing a foot away from this transaction and know for a fact 2 outta the 3 were easily at least 9.5′s. While this is going on Sergio is back on the green lining up his putt. Normally the caddy will help, but there were more important things like properly hydrating attractive patrons.
After calmly making his putt and walking to the 3rd tee box, he and his caddy were joking around about the whole ordeal. At this point, Sergio says something to the effect of “You are just the caddy, there’s 2 for me and 1 for you, just caddy man”. The poor caddy was just left standing there with a rotting apple core Sergio threw at him after he was done eating. Serg then proceeded to rip a drive about 300 yards straight down the fairway.
I will never know if Sergio and his caddy ended up getting with those 3 women after the round. What I do know is that Sergio ended up shooting a +1 over par on the day. His scores after the first 2 rounds were 67, 69 with the course playing much easier during the 3rd round. Perhaps he had other things on his mind? Perhaps its safe to say that Sergio’s failures in the past have been incorrectly attributed to his lack of putting, but rather his increased focus on extracurricular events? We will leave that speculation up to the analysts.
Written by: Mike Today I was able to be a hole Marshal at the Travelers Pro-Am (professional tour players are paired with 3 amateur golfers for 18 holes). I felt incredibly powerful due to the fact I had an orange flag on a stick to mark errant tee-shots, and when I put my arms in the air, people shut up. It was also cool to stand on the green while Lucas Glover was lining up a putt… all I will say is I had the putt read right and therefore could win a US Open.
Aside from that, here are some other tid-bits of information from the Pro-Am
Galleries are more likely to follow local sporting hero’s than they are anyone else. I saw dudes with SI covers of the Uconn womens basketball team because a former player who is now an assistant coach was in one of the groups. This was one of the largest crowds all day. Dwight Evans also had a large following (more on that in a moment)
Ray Allen – one of the NBA’s alltime best at shooting 3′s cannot translate his sharpshooting ability to a golf course. Off the tee on 12, he shanked it out of bounds. His next shot went even further out of bounds hitting a house. He did not finish the hole. (He did make a great tee-shot on the next hole to partially make up for this)
Chris Berman does not ever turn off his personality and really likes Doug Flutie. This group, along with Evans was by far the most popular of the whole day. Berman was using almost his entire repertoire of catch phrases with Flutie, including metaphors about breaks in putts, being too strong, and hail marys. Still not sure how half of them were relevant, but thats beside the point.
At 7am in the morning, there are more marshalls on a hole than actual spectators. Anthony Kim had about 4 people following him; there were 24 of us on that hole. Hes going to win a few majors before his career is over, mark my words.
That’s all for now – check back for weekend coverage assuming the weather is nice.
Written by: Patrick Galvin From SI: Obama to Throw First Pitch at 2009 All-Star Game:
WASHINGTON (AP) — President Barack Obama plans to throw out the ceremonial first pitch before the Major League Baseball All-Star game at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on July 14.
The White House said on Tuesday that MLB’s focus on community service matches with Obama’s service initiative this summer, known as United We Serve.
…
“We are thrilled that we can come together with President Obama, who has encouraged a renewed spirit of national service, and illustrate a call to action in our communities. President Obama will continue a great tradition that joins our nation’s leader and the national pastime.”
This is awesome! I’m not going to knock the coverage on this one too much, because famous people throwing out first pitches is almost as adored a pastime a baseball itself, and why shouldn’t Obama try to foster positive spirit during his public appearances, even if it is slightly corny?
I just hope he can throw as mean a fastball as former President Bush. You know, otherwise the polls might swing 5% in the GOP’s favor. Because we all know that a real sign of leadership is a man’s throwing ability.
Remember when Kerry and Bush had those pictures side by side playing a little football? Kerry took a beating for that one. We can’t have some limp-wristed pansy who can’t catch a pigskin in our White House, God dammit.
This guy got three purple hearts???
Obama better bring his best stuff.
Written by: Patrick Galvin 
President Obama has signed a new bill into law giving the FDA unprecedent ability to regulate both the marketing campaigns and product development of tobacco companies:
From CNN: Obama Signs Bill Putting Tobacco Products Under FDA Oversight
The Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act gives the FDA power to ban candy-flavored and fruit-flavored cigarettes, widely considered appealing to first-time smokers, including youths. It also prohibits tobacco companies from using terms such as “low tar,” “light” or “mild,” requires larger warning labels on packages, and restricts advertising of tobacco products.
It also requires tobacco companies to reduce levels of nicotine in cigarettes.
As reported by Yahoo! News as well: further restrictions will be placed on where marketing tobacco companies are allowed to advertise:
Another main provision, a ban on advertisements within 1,000 feet of schools and playgrounds, is already being challenged by the industry and First Amendment groups. “My concern is that a key element of the bill will be made illegal by a decision of the Supreme Court, and that will cascade through the states as well,”says Cheryl Healton, president of the American Legacy Foundation, a national antitobacco group. In 2001, the Supreme Court struck down a similar law in Massachusetts.
Fantastic. I’ts good to know that cigarettes are being treated as harshly as convicted pedophiles. While anti-smoking advocates are ecstatic with the ruling, so is Philip Morris, for reasons its competitors say are less than altruistic. I have to agree with the other cancer-stick-peddlers on this one: telling companies in no uncertain terms that they can’t use grassroots marketing, differentiated marketing, buzzword marketing, or be anywhere near schools or playgrounds will ensure that Philip Morris, the current tobacco monopoly, will stay that way for years to come.
Some are also worried the FDA’s involvement will engender an even more dangerous type of marketing from Philip Morris: the first “FDA-approved,” or “risk-reduced” cigarette, if there is such a thing. Given Philip Morris’ newfound potential to be the kingpin of cigarettes, and its financial advantage concerning R&D, it’s easy to see Philip Morris trying to make cigarettes the kind of sexy yet safe, doctor-approved entity they were in the 1920′s.
From Slate: “Philip Morris’ quest for governmental approval is not masochistic: There are solid business reasons for it. The company, which commands more than half of the U.S. tobacco market, earned $20 billion last year from domestic cigarette sales. But that market is, literally and figuratively, dying off at 2 percent to 3 percent a year. Philip Morris sees the future in a line of “safe” cigarettes it is developing. An FDA stamp of approval for them would be a major marketing asset. With its commanding share of the U.S. market, the company figures it can work within FDA rules to swamp its smaller competitors.”
Where does the quest for a free market trump the quest for ubiquitously good health? I have no idea. In unrelated news, leaders in government are all suggesting ideas for healthcare reform, the latest being Judd Gregg. They all seem to contain increased emphasis on prevention as well as coverage.
